Advice God Meme Generator
"You can wear whatever you like," says your mum, "as long as it's the blue one." Free will has been granted. It's the blue one.
The boss says the team is empowered to make its own decisions, then reverses all three of them in one evening email titled "just a thought". It wasn't a thought. It was a commandment.
You buy the dog a £200 orthopaedic bed. The dog sleeps in the cardboard box it came in. You made her, in a sense, and she has her own ideas about your creation.
The teacher says there are no stupid questions. Then Kevin asks whether the Romans had dinosaurs, and she has to decide, in front of 30 witnesses, whether she believes in her own rule.
Why it caught on: the frowning face of God from Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel ceiling, painted between 1508 and 1512, became the voice of advice from the top for the early 2010s Reddit atheism crowd. Anyone who has lived under rules made by the one person allowed to break them knows that face.
Best Advice God posts
- i create the earth for all humanity / EXCEPT FOR ANTARCTICA, WHICH IS FOR PENGUINS. I LIKE PENGUINS.
- Creates men in his perfect image / tells them to cut the end of thier dicks off
- Use your free will / exactly as i tell you to use it
- accidentally make humans smart / they stop believing in me
- CREATES GAYS / HATES GAYS
- design eye too complex to evolve / Limited visible spectrum and shitty night vision
- EVERYTHING NEEDS A CREATOR / EXCEPT ME
- "Intelligent Designer" / puts too many teeth in human mouth
- Gives ability to reason / demands unreasonable belief
- scumbag god says "thou shalt not kill" / Proceeds to kill millions
- you didn't say hi to me on sunday / that's ok. you like warm weather anyway right?
- All-knowing, allmighty god / needs lamb-blood-signs above the doors of jews so he does not kill the wrong folks by accident
- Pride, envy, and wrath are sins / I am perfect; don't worship any god besides me; disobey and you'll be punished
- Create Everything / Satan maybe a mistake
- has the ability to create and destroy everything living or dead / keeps satan alive
- Punish eve for being evil / before eve knew what evil was
- i love all my children / *some restrictions may apply
- creates man in own image / somehow surprised when man turns out petty and selfish
- Makes Forbidden fruit / fragrant, beautiful, and easily reachable
- I am human / Heath Hunter & The Pleasure Co - Revolution in paradise